Still Running, Still Writing: Part 3
One thing I have not done in my first two parts of this series is state my goal for the Detroit Free Press Marathon. In part 1 I wrote about wanting to cross the finish line knowing I gave everything I had and fighting all the way till the finish line. That should be the goal every time a runner races, but it lacks specificity. Runners usually use tangible numbers like time and place to make their goals specific. I do have some numbers I’m targeting for the race, but before sharing, I have two reasons why I’m hesitant to state my goals.
The first reason is that stating goals publicly is scary. If I state publicly that I want to run under 3 hours for the marathon and then I run 3 hours and 42 seconds, that looks like a failure. It is hard to look like a failure, especially on the internet. So rather than publicly state goals, it is easier to keep our goals to ourselves. It feels safer to avoid the chance of failing in front of strangers on the internet. Strangers on the internet can be ruthless.
But the second reason is even more important. The second reason is that I am trying to change the way I view goals. For example, running 42 seconds slower than your goal time is not a failure. The races you run are not defined by the time on the clock, or by the people you beat. If you define success and failure by the numbers, you are setting yourself up for failure. It’s a trap that we, as runners and as humans, set ourselves up for all the time.
I have fallen into this trap many times. It’s the idea that if I just run this time, I’ll be happy. If I just get this job, I’ll be happy. If I just accomplish this, I’ll be happy. But I have run the times, gotten the job, won the accomplishments, and while that brings happiness for a while, the feeling eventually fades. This forced me to change my view on goals.
Instead of thinking of my goals in terms of outcomes, (run this time, get this job, etc.) I am trying to become more process oriented. As Brad Stulberg tweeted, one of my favorite authors who writes about performance, “The goal is the path and the path is the goal.” I do not want to just chase outcomes. My ultimate goal with running is to continue loving the process. I want to continue loving the hard runs, getting a little more fit each day, going out for a run and feeling better by the time I finish.
I acknowledge that there are still outcomes I desire for the Detroit Free Press Marathon. My three outcomes I hope to accomplish (I think of these as A, B, and C goals) are sub 2:40, sub 2:45, then a personal best. However, if I don’t accomplish any of these outcomes, I still won’t view this race or this training segment as a failure. I will continue to love running and feel good about what I’ve done so far this training block.
If I accomplish any of these outcomes, I will be very happy. But if I don’t reach these outcomes, I won’t let that steal my joy of running. I will know that there will be future runs and races and I will continue to love what running has done for me. That won’t change because of the time on the clock.
Training Update:
If you do your training right, your fitness will keep progressing and you will eventually hit a point called ‘turning the corner.’ I have turned the corner the past few weeks in training. Physically I feel like my body is ready to take on any kind of workout I will do in marathon training. Mentally I feel like no workout can intimidate me. I go in to each hard session knowing I’m capable of getting it done. It’s a great place to be in.
Do not mistake this for marathon training is easy. That’s not it. The workouts are still hard and all the running tiring, but I just feel like no matter how my legs feel they will come around and I can endure a ton of pain to accomplish a workout right now. I feel really confident with a month till race day. There is still more work to do, but I have the confidence now that my body and mind are marathon ready.
A few key sessions I have done in the past two weeks were a 3 mile warm up, 10 miles steady in 61:23, 3 mile cool down and also an 8x1 mile with 400 jog between each where I averaged 5:42. That 10 miles steady felt really smooth and like I was running at marathon effort. If that 6:08–6:10 pace feels like marathon effort, that will mean a really fast day for me. The 8x1 mile session is the best I’ve ever averaged running mile repeats.
Arguably the most important workout of the segment came this morning — a 20 miler with some hard miles thrown in the last 10 miles. See the recap in photo below.
The three workouts all came from the last 8 days. That’s a lot of work in a short amount of time, which means I’ve run all these on very tired legs. I am also on my way to run my third straight week of 80+ miles, something I’ve never done in my 13 years competitively running. It is the workouts and the mileage that make me feel like I have a shot at sub 2:40 on a really great day. I definitely would not have thought that was possible a month ago.
I know more is not always better, but the miles combined with the workouts indicate I’m in really good shape. But I also feel like I’m not overdoing anything. With one month till race day, I do still have a lot more work to do. I still need to keep hitting my workouts and then also make sure I taper correctly in the last two weeks so I’m not burnt out on race day. But right now, I feel really good about the spot I’m in.
Looking Backward & Employment Search:
I’m combining these segments for this piece. It looks like I’ve been able to secure two jobs one starting tonight (wish me luck!) and the other starting next week. It is exciting and definitely a relief, but I’m also extremely nervous. I have no direct experience in either of my jobs and I don’t know if I’ll enjoy them or not. I have never had to navigate two jobs before which is another new experience.
I had a really good interview a few days ago that caused me to reflect on my previous job experience, what works for me, and what I’m looking for moving forward. While I don’t exactly know yet what it is I want to with my life, this interview helped me identify some things that I am looking for. Servicing a community is big for me. I want to feel that my work in some way helps serve the community. This is a big part of why teaching appealed to me but I’ve also had it in other jobs. This summer when I was working for a local parks department pulling weeds and taking care of plants I did get that service feeling. Making local parks look better feels good and is a service. I’m looking for that feeling of service in future jobs and I’m hoping I’ll feel that in my two new ones.
Another thing I learned from my interview is that I want to feel valued in my job. I want to feel like people listen to ideas I have and that I am taken seriously. I don’t want to feel like I’m just another cog in the machine. When I feel like I’m not important or valued, that decreases my motivation.
I’ll reveal the jobs in my next piece, once I have had sometime actually being in that environment.
Quote:
“The discomfort is coming along for the ride, but it doesn’t get to drive and sure as shit doesn’t get to pick the music.” — Scott Fauble, Inside A Marathon, Top American male at the Boston Marathon in 2022
Scott Fauble is my favorite professional runner and one of the few who is actually insightful. That gives me an idea for a future piece of writing titled professional runners actually worth listening to.
I like Scott for a number of reasons. He grew up in the Denver area and I actually raced him a few times when I was a freshman and he was a senior. He kicked my ass, and everyone else’s. He loves burritos and Coors beer. He gives good interviews. He hates Galen Rupp.
He also wrote one of the best books on training for a marathon, Inside A Marathon, with his former Coach Ben Rosario. This book has every run of his buildup to the New York City Marathon in 2019, and each week he and his coach reflect on how the training is going. It does not read like a training log, but more like an actual journal.
This is one of my favorite quotes from the book because it highlights how runners need to think about discomfort. Running and racing are hard and uncomfortable. Don’t shy away from discomfort, accept that it is there. But don’t let it swallow you. As Scott said, it’s coming along for the ride but we are the ones in control (driving) and having fun (picking the music).
As always, thanks for reading. It means a lot to me that anyone would care enough to read what I write. Love you ❤
Tucker
